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September 6, 1997
I stand before you today the representative of a family in grief,
in a country in mourning before a world in shock.
We are all united not only in our desire to pay our respects to Diana
but rather in our need to do so.
For such was her extraordinary appeal
that the tens of millions of people taking part in this service all over the world
via television and radio who never actually met her,
feel that they, too, lost someone close to them in the early hours of Sunday morning.
It is a more remarkable tribute to Diana than I can ever hope to offer her today.
Diana was the very essence of compassion, of duty, of style, of beauty.
All over the world she was a symbol of selfless humanity,
a standard-bearer for the rights of the truly downtrodden,
a truly British girl who transcended nationality,
someone with a natural nobility who was classless,
who proved in the last year that she needed no royal title
to continue to generate her particular brand of magic.
Today is our chance to say "thank you" for the way you brightened our lives,
even though God granted you but half a life.
We will all feel cheated that you were taken from us so young
and yet we must learn to be grateful that you came along at all.
Only now you are gone do we truly appreciate what we are now without
and we want you to know that life without you is very, very difficult.
We have all despaired at our loss over the past week
and only the strength of the message you gave us through your years of giving
has afforded us the strength to move forward.
There is a temptation to rush to canonize your memory.
There is no need to do so.
You stand tall enough as a human being of unique qualities
not to need to be seen as a saint.
Indeed to sanctify your memory would be to miss out on the very core of your being,
your wonderfully mischievous sense of humor with the laugh that bent you double,
your joy for life transmitted wherever you took your smile,
and the sparkle in those unforgettable eyes,
your boundless energy which you could barely contain.
But your greatest gift was your intuition, and it was a gift you used wisely.
This is what underpinned all your wonderful attributes.
And if we look to analyze what it was about you that had such a wide appeal,
we find it in your instinctive feel for what was really important in all our lives.
Without your God-given sensitivity,
we would be immersed in greater ignorance at the anguish of AIDS and HIV sufferers,
the plight of the homeless, the isolation of lepers, the random destruction of land mines.
Diana explained to me once that it was her innermost feelings of suffering
that made it possible for her to connect with her constituency of the rejected.
And here we come to another truth about her.
For all the status, the glamour, the applause,
Diana remained throughout a very insecure person at heart,
almost childlike in her desire to do good for others
so she could release herself from deep feelings of unworthiness
of which her eating disorders were merely a symptom.
The world sensed this part of her character and cherished her for her vulnerability,
whilst admiring her for her honesty.
The last time I saw Diana was on July the first, her birthday, in London,
when typically she was not taking time to celebrate her special day with friends
but was guest of honor at a charity fund-raising evening.
She sparkled of course, but I would rather cherish the days I spent with her in March
when she came to visit me and my children in our home in South Africa.
I am proud of the fact
that apart from when she was on public display meeting President Mandela,
we managed to contrive to stop the ever-present paparazzi
from getting a single picture of her.
That meant a lot to her.
These are days I will always treasure.
It was as if we'd been transported back to our childhood,
when we spent such an enormous amount of time together,
the two youngest in the family.
Fundamentally she hadn't changed at all from the big sister
who mothered me as a baby,
fought with me at school and endured those long train journeys
between our parents' homes with me at weekends.
It is a tribute to her level-headedness and strength
that despite the most bizarre life imaginable after her childhood,
she remained intact, true to herself.
There is no doubt that she was looking for a new direction in her life at this time.
She talked endlessly of getting away from England,
mainly because of the treatment she received at the hands of the newspapers.
I don't think she ever understood
why her genuinely good intentions were sneered at by the media,
why there appeared to be a permanent quest on their behalf to bring her down.
It is baffling.
My own, and only, explanation is that genuine goodness is threatening
to those at the opposite end of the moral spectrum.
It is a point to remember that of all the ironies about Diana,
perhaps the greatest is this;
that a girl given the name of the ancient goddess of hunting was,
in the end,
the most hunted person of the modern age.
She would want us today to pledge ourselves
to protecting her beloved boys William and Harry from a similar fate.
And I do this here, Diana, on your behalf.
We will not allow them to suffer the anguish
that used regularly to drive you to tearful despair.
Beyond that, on behalf of your mother and sisters,
I pledge that we, your blood family,
will do all we can to continue the imaginative and loving way
in which you were steering these two exceptional young men,
so that their souls are not simply immersed by duty and tradition
but can sing openly as you planned.
We fully respect the heritage into which they have both been born,
and will always respect and encourage them in their royal role.
But we, like you, recognize the need for them to experience
as many different aspects of life as possible,
to arm them spiritually and emotionally for the years ahead.
I know you would have expected nothing less from us.
William and Harry, we all care desperately for you today.
We are all chewed up with sadness at the loss of a woman
who wasn't even our mother.
How great your suffering is we cannot even imagine.
I would like to end by thanking God
for the small mercies he has shown us at this dreadful time;
for taking Diana at her most beautiful and radiant
and when she had so much joy in her private life.
Above all, we give thanks for the life of a woman
I am so proud to be able to call my sister:
the unique the complex, the extraordinary and irreplaceable Diana,
whose beauty, both internal and external,
will never be extinguished from our minds.
Text of funeral oration by 9th Earl Spencer
Your smile lit up
a room
Like a candle in
the dark
And warmed us
through and
through.
And I guess that
we had dreamed
that from us you'd
never part
But that dream did
not come true.
Now missing you is
just a part of
living
And missing you
feels like a way
of life
We're living out
these lives that
we've been given
But oh, we wish
each day you'd had
more time.
Inspired by Amy
Grant's "Missing
You"
Rest in peace, our
Queen of Hearts. .
.
We miss you more
than words can say
. . .
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