How many times
have we looked in the mirror
and thought,
"You're ugly,
you're fat,
you're getting old,
you're worthless...."?
How many times
have we said to ourselves,
"You should be thin,
you should be beautiful,
you should have less wrinkles,
you should be somebody,
you should be perfect...."?
And how many times
have we stood there
and thought,
"I will never be beautiful,
I will never be thin,
I'll always be fat,
I will never be somebody,
I will never be loved...."?

Lies!
All of them lies!
How can we stand there
and tell ourselves
such hurtful things?
We wouldn't stand for anybody else
to say them to us,
so then why do we?
What makes us so different
from the rest?
Why is it that we can tell ourselves
these things
but nobody else can?
How can we be all this
and everyone else seems perfect?
Do we think that we are
the only ones to battle
with such thoughts,
With such lies?
What makes us that unique?
All of those things we tell ourselves
are symptoms of something more,
a pain so much deeper
Controlled by lies from within.

Who said that life should be easy?
It wasn't,
and it isn't!
We all have difficulties
and in learning to live
and cope with them
we become stronger
happier
and healthier persons ~
So what went wrong?
Expectations.
We expect to have eveything done for us
For God to take away our pain
Without us even learning from it!
What is the point of that?

And who said that material things
will make us happy?
For a man's life doesn't consist
in the abundance of his possessions ~
It consists of love,
The greatest gift of all
And what do we do with it?
Abuse it!
Having it all will not give us what we need,
for what we need is much deeper.

"I need someone" we tell ourselves
"Someone to make me happy".
But no one can give us that happiness
No one can give us what we seek
We cannot rely on another
to fulfill us completely,
We cannot over-depend on them
to meet our needs
and to make us happy ~
No one can make "me" happy
except myself.

Perfection ~
the greatest lie of the ages.
We live in an imperfect world
yet we strive to be just that.
There is nothing wrong to seek
excellence,
but to be a slave to perfection
is just setting ourselves up
for more hurt and pain....
After all, think about this,
nobody is perfect,
so why should we try to be?

Pleasing others just to be loved
is not the answer either....
But it is an easy trap to fall into.
Never saying "no"
for fear of not being liked
People use you
and abuse you
and then laugh at you behind your back!
You end up being a slave to them
always striving for their acceptance
their love
their friendshp,
But getting nothing in return
but heartache.
On the other hand
it could earn one a lot of "like"
but never love,
Nor would it help one to feel loved.

"It's all his or her fault"
we tell ourselves
He hurt me,
She yelled at me,
She said spiteful things to me,
He won't even talk to me!
Well if he didn't do this or that,
then I wouldn't have reacted!
And if she didn't yell at me
then I wouldn't have humiliated her!
But if we look into our hearts
there are no innocent parties ~
We are both to blame.
We had our own hands in conflict,
and we both contributed.
BUT.....
The truth of the matter is
it is NOT so important what happens to us,
but how we react to it.
THAT'S what matters....
After all, we have just finished
telling ourselves
that we are NOT perfect!

So why does God let me hurt?
If He is all-powerful
why doesn't He then
take my pain away?
Why?
You ask yourself,
but you already know the answer....
Through trials come perseverance,
through perseverance comes hope,
and through hope comes faith....
We don't have to earn God's love
by being perfect,
Just as we don't have to earn another's love
in the same way....
God loves us anyway
with all our faults!
God's love is a gift,
We don't earn it,
We are given it,
"For it is by grace
we are saved,
and through faith
this is the gift of God."

Accept yourself
Love yourself
Forgive yourself ~
You will never be perfect
in this imperfect world....
So you need to accept who you are
love who you are
and forgive yourself
for those high expectations.
Otherwise, you will B-LAME
emotionally and spiritually.

So when you look in the mirror
and you tell yourself
"I'm fat,
I'm ugly,
I'm worthless...."
Remember that you are perfect
in God's eyes.
He loves you
He loves me.
He doesn't see us as ugly
or worthless
or even fat or thin!
He sees us as we are....
For beauty comes from within,
not what's on the outside,
but what's in the heart....
and that is what God sees.

© Christina
10th October, 2003

~My Heartfelt Thanks to Christina
for granting me permission to use her beautiful poem!

Please visit her site to read more.